Family Quotes

If you are a big fan of Family guy, than you probably like these collection of Family Guy Quotes. Read and enjoy.

• Damn the toilet! It's made slaves of you all! It just sits there consuming other people's feces while contributing nothing of its own to society.

• Peter: Don't worry Chris. Sometimes it's good not to fit in.
  (Flashback to Veitnam)
  Peter (dressed in a clown suit): You guys are stupid. Their gonna be looking for army people.

• Brothers and sisters fighting is as natural as a white mans dialogue in a Spike Lee movie.

• [On being President of the tobacco company]
  Peter: And they give us a lot of perks, too.
  Ugly Girl: (to Meg) Hi.
  Meg: Who are you?
  Ugly Girl: I'm the ugly girl sent to stand next to you to make you more desirable.

• Stewie Griffin: So broccoli, mother says you're very good for me. Well, I'm afraid I'm no good for you!

• Lois, when I'm through with them, our kids will be so smart, they'll be able to program their own VCRs without spilling piping hot gravy all over myself.

• Stewie Griffin: Hello, mother. I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.

• Meg: How could you embarrass me like that? Nobody better pull this kind of crap at my slumber party tonight.
  Lois: Don't worry, honey. You and your friends are gonna have a great time.
  Stewie: Yes. How delightful it will be. A pubescent herd of gabby wretches prattling on about boys and music and jellybeans and stickers.

• Chris, everything I say is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that. And that.

• Lois Griffin: Peter! You're bribing your daughter with a car?
  Peter Griffin: Aw, c'mon Lois, isn't 'bribe' just another word for 'love'?

• Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
  Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win.

• Lois: What's going on down here?
  Stewie: Oh, we're playing house.
  Lois: That boy's all tied up.
  Stewie: Roman Polanski's house

• Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
  Stewie: What did you just say?
  Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
  Stewie: Pipe down Lois. Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.

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